Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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