I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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