First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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