I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
