PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
