5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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