I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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