Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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