im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
