Well douche your snatch and let's go!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
