Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
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Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
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His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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