we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
