I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
