Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize