Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
