so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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