so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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