Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
...so i touched it.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
