yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
