Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize