so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
its not stalking. its research.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
