"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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