the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
