doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
