they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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