So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
