haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
