We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
