He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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