so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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