Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
