The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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