She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
