Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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