I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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