halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
