i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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