I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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