Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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