I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
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Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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