i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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