I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
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I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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