ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
