oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
