i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
