Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
