Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
