i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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