he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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