so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
