I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize