1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
