Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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