well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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