Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
