Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
