you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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