I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
